1. Poor Structure, Limits, and Boundaries-Providing balanced structure, limits, and boundaries is essential to good parenting. What exactly are structure, limits, and boundaries? Here’s the breakdown: Structure means consistent schedules and routines; limits mean curbing destructive or risky behaviours by engendering good judgment, and boundaries mean honouring and respecting the physical and emotional space between people. Some parents are too strict with limits; some don’t provide enough structure or boundaries. Strive to find the right balance for your children, and they will be better prepared for relationships, jobs, and the world outside your door.

2. Disregarding Learning Problems-Many academic and behavioural problems are the direct result of undiagnosed learning difficulties. Impatient parents who are too quick to label kids lazy, unmotivated, and apathetic about school often fail to consider what might really be triggering their kids’ attitudes toward learning. Even exceptionally smart kids suffer from difficulties with sensory and memory deficiencies. These under-the-radar complications often don’t emerge until middle school or high school. Such difficulties make learning a painful and exhausting experience.

3 Criticism and Comparison-No one enjoys criticisms or comparisons. Yet many parents compulsively criticize and compare their children daily: “Why can’t you be more like _____?” or “Why are you so _____?” This is a sure-fire way to impair your kids’ esteem and damage their fragile egos. Children who are criticized grow up to think of themselves as outsiders and underachievers.

4. Invalidating Feelings-When your children reveal their feelings and insecurities to you, for goodness sake don’t contradict them, correct them, offer unsolicited advice, or use it as an opportunity to lecture about your experiences. Remember, they are taking a risk in doing so; therefore, your sensitivity is imperative. Kids want to feel understood; they want to feel validated by their parents.

5. Micromanaging-Micromanagers are dedicated and hardworking people; they love their kids and want them to succeed. The problem is that they do too much for them. As a result, their kids remain dependent on their parents and have great difficulty standing on their own. Instead of micromanaging, give your kid the tools to be self-reliant and independent.

6. Bad Modelling-A parent’s first and foremost job is to be a good role model. Yet, there are many parents whose misbehaviours serve as poor examples for their children. Parents that erupt in rages, blame others, tell untruths, or play the victim are subconsciously training their kids to do the same. Behave the way you want your kids to behave. Be the person you want your kid to be.

7. Inconsistency- Parents who change their minds often, don’t take a stand, and have difficulty making decisions or providing strong leadership are very likely to produce emotionally volatile children. These children emerge with unstable cores and weak identities. They have trouble defining themselves, and often develop oppositional and defiant behaviours to camouflage their insecurities.

8. Bullying-Bullying parents tend to be control freaks. Rather than understand their kids, they overwhelm them with orders, directives, threats of violence, or actual violence. They aim to shape and define their kids by intimidating them, rather than letting their kids unearth their own individuality.

9. Enabling-A parent’s actions are usually well-intended, but enabling is one of the most disastrous parenting tendencies. When parents pander to their kids’ every need, their kids fare poorly in relationships; they expect everyone else to cater to them. They shrink from challenges and avoid hard work. Stop enabling—and start empowering.

10. Neglect-Parents don’t set out to neglect their kids, but many do. Adults get absorbed in their work, delegate parenting responsibilities to eldest children or grandparents, miss important events in their kids’ lives, or worst of all, become terrible listeners—all forms of emotional neglect that undermine a child’s healthy sense of self. Emotionally neglected kids always suffer from mood and behavioural problems. Children who feel understood by their parents don’t act out for attention and are less likely to engage in destructive behaviour.